Pops's Story

Why we are building EngAGE Beverly

Pops has always been someone who shows up.

Not in a way that draws attention, but in the steady, reliable way that shapes a life. He built a long career as an estate planning attorney, respected by his peers and trusted by his clients. He never made much of it. What mattered to him was doing the work well and doing it right, not just as a task to complete, but as a responsibility to the people he was serving. Dignity, integrity, and humanity were always part of the work. People trusted him not just for his expertise, but for how he treated them.

He is deeply curious. His home is filled with books he has read, often more than once, with notes tucked into the back pages written in his own hand. He audits classes simply because he wants to keep learning. Pops pays attention. He notices things. He is thoughtful.

He was drafted into Vietnam as a young man. Like many of his generation, it wasn't something he chose, but he showed up anyway. He did what was asked of him, in his own way, and carried that same sense of responsibility into the rest of his life.

He and his wife raised five children on Chicago's South Side. Dinner was together every night. Expectations were clear: be honest, take responsibility, follow through, and show up for people. Their kids inherited their father's work ethic and applied it at home, in school, and in their communities. They learned to apologize when they were wrong, to keep their word, and to help their neighbors without being asked. Integrity, work ethic, and service were not talked about. They were modeled and lived.

Summers are spent in Michigan, a place that continues to anchor family life across generations. It is where relationships deepen, where grandparents and grandchildren spend time side by side, and where traditions carry forward without needing to be explained. It remains central to the family, even as Pops's experience there has changed.

Until recently, Pops remained actively part of his children's and grandchildren's daily lives, dropping by to say hello on his way home from work, going from one of his grown children's home to the next, while continuing to show up in the ways he always has.

In Michigan with Patrick and grandsons

What Happened Next

In 2024, Pops was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

What followed was a search for care that quickly became overwhelming. The options felt too large, too clinical, or too inconsistent to trust. None felt like a natural extension of the life he had built or would have wanted for himself.

We tried in-home support. Some caregivers were kind but not the right fit. Others were unreliable. Coordinating care became its own full-time responsibility. At times, the experience crossed a line that is hard to describe, the kind of violation that comes from trusting someone in your home, with someone you love, and having that trust broken. It adds a weight to an already difficult situation.

When nothing else worked, everything fell to his wife of over 50 years.

At 80, she is steady and devoted and carrying more than anyone should have to carry alone.

Pops is still here and very much a part of all of our lives, but without regular stimulation, engagement, and connection to a larger purpose, his world is getting smaller. That is the part that feels hardest to accept, because it does not have to be this way.

The Idea That Became EngAGE Beverly

Hi, I'm Julie, Pops' daughter-in-law. Before EngAGE, I spent my career in education, leading urban schools and advocating for students and families who were too often underserved by the systems meant to support them. I saw firsthand what happens when systems aren't built for the people who rely on them. They ask too much and deliver too little.

When our family began looking for care for Pops, I recognized that same pattern.

The options didn't reflect who he is, a man with deep relationships, a strong sense of self, and a life rooted in home and community. Instead, they asked him to leave those things behind. And like in education, the burden quietly shifted to our family to fill the gaps.

There was a clear disconnect between what exists and what people actually need.

EngAGE Beverly was born from that realization.

When the system asks people to adapt instead of supporting who they are, it's time to build something better. That's what led us to create EngAGE Beverly for Pops, and for others like him.

This isn't a side project. It's a continuation of my life's work: building something better when the system falls short. A place where people like Pops can be known, respected, and supported in ways that feel natural, dignified, and connected to who they've always been.

Celebrating Pops's 80th birthday

EngAGE Beverly NFP  |  Chicago, IL |  julie@engagebeverly.com